My Fabulous Bag

This is my diaper bag....


Isn't it pretty? I LOVE this bag. I want to marry this bag (That is if I wasn't already married to a wonderful man. Love you sweetie!!) It is red. It is shiny. It is youthful. It is eye-catching. It is, in a word, FABULOUS!!! It is everything I want to be. Ok, well I don't want to be red. That would probably mean I had a really bad sunburn. Been there, done that. Not going back, thank you very much. Well, and I guess I don't want to be shiny either. In fact, I pay good money for cleansers to keep me from being shiny. But you get my point. I hope.

So, this amazing bag of mine is impressive in more ways than one. It still looks marvelous from the outside after being carted around everywhere I go and it is big enough that it can hold all the crap that I needlessly cart around with me. See....


The contents of my bag consists of:
3 pens (1 that didn't work)
1 UN SHARPENED pencil (maybe I could poke someones eye out if they tried to mug me..??)
3 stickers (2 were transformers and one was veggie tales)
2 things of lip gloss
1 tube of chap stick...cherry flavored, of course.
1 coconut lip butter (from The Body Shop...best lip stuff EVER!! Only problem is it tastes so good I usually just lick it off as soon as I put it on!! and can you tell I came form a cold climate?? A girl can never have too many moisturizing lip products.)
1 watch (That never gets worn because it just becomes a toy for my baby and then my wrist ends up covered in baby slobber)
1 rattle (Sassy rocks!)
1 small toy dog
61 cents (see, mugging me would be a mistake. You would end up with 61 cents and only one eye)
1 hair clip (the big claw kind. I am not sure why I have this. I don't even use this kind of hair clip!)
3 rubber bands (essential for the "baby likes to yank the hair out of my head" phase of you baby's life)
3 kids games
some cheese and peanut butter crackers
1 bottle nipple and a 2 oz bottle of premade formula (even though my baby drinks double that)
1 electronic 20 questions game (I LOVE this little thing. Very handy for waiting in the doctor's offices)
1(?????) plastic link (don't ask me what I was expecting a child to do with 1 link)
2 pacifiers (neither of which were in containers so they are both covered in "bottom of your diaper bag" crumbly stuff....kinda makes it pointless to have them)
a PLETHORA of old receipts (mostly from Target...can I get a hoot hoot??)
1 crinkly baby book
2 baggies stuffed full of wipes (Yup, 2. One for changing diapers and one because I am an experienced mom and know that in the course 1 trip to the grocery store you can use wipes approx. 32 times... i.e. wiping shopping cart, wiping little hands after they run their fingers down the side of the dirty car in the parking lot, wiping faces after eating free samples of BBQ chicken, wiping off baby spit up, wiping off my hand after catching the BBQ chicken sample that was being spit out.....you get my drift.)
5 diapers (4 in my baby's size and one for my niece when I have her)
1 travel size bottle of lotion
1 small bottle of water...half empty...or shall I say, half full :)
an empty tic tac container *shrugging shoulders*
1 box of crayons (cause you never know when you are going to need to color something!!)
an old grocery list
1 bib (at least it was clean!!)
my wallet
1 old man finger puppet
1 thing of dinosaur flip cards (my 5 year old is wacky over dinos)
2 easy reader books
and last, but certainly not least, a bag of jumbo sized jet-puffed marshmallows (cause ya never know when you're gonna need something to bribe the kids with!!)

You'd think I would have better biceps. Oh well. C'est la vie.