Friday, June 27, 2008

Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?!?

What is it about the telephone ringing that makes children go totally and completely psychotic?? Do they teach some sort of prenatal class in utero to fetuses? Is there some sort of "it's time for me to go absolutely nuts and flip out on my parental unit" hormone that is released at the sound of a phone ringing?

After my last post, (which you should read if you haven't. It's short and you'll get a chuckle out of it) I was talking on the phone with my friend and laughing about the story.

Immediately after the phone rang, my children started in.

"I'm hungry!!!" No, you aren't. You finished eating less than twenty minutes ago. You're bored. Go find something to do!!

"I need to go potty!!" Well, unless you are expecting me to insert a catheter, I suggest you get your cute little butt into the bathroom.

"But I'm bored!" Well, if you can't find something to do, I can find you something. The toys need picked up, your bed needs made. What about scrubbing the toilets? Wanna do that?? You could fold the mountain of laundry that has taken up residence on the couch (although, I don't really suggest that to them because, first off, they are too young and I would just have to go behind them and clean up their "folding" and second, they would find my hidden candy stash. It's the perfect place to hide candy, really. No one EVER gets to the bottom of that pile!)

"She looked at me!" Well, I bet you are guilty of the same or you wouldn't know she was looking in the first place.

"He hit me!" Well, learn how to duck faster, pokey!

Once, I read an article about this. It said the solution was to make eye contact with the child when he begins to whine. Then, hold up one finger so he knows you have acknowledged him. Ummm, yeah. I bet the person that wrote that article doesn't have any children. If they did, they would know that sticking a finger up in the air when a small child is upset is NOT a good idea. You will end up with a bloody stump after the child bites your finger off.

Another suggestion was to wait until the evening to make the phone call when your spouse was home. First off, uhhhh, there are a BOOTY-load of single parents out there. That kinda shoots a big, fat hole through that suggestion. Second, I don't know about you, but I am sure my husband would love it if he came home from working hard all day and I was like, "Sweet!! Time for Mommy to get on the phone and chat it up with her friends. See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" and shoved the baby in his arms as I ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed, phone in hand.

At least I know I am not alone in this battle. I know this because when I am on the phone with my friends, I can hear their children in the background....

"Can I watch TV? I want some milk. He just flicked me! Where is my doll?? What day is it? Woah! Did you hear that burp??"

The worst, though, is when you are on the phone and the whiney one comes up to you and asks for something that is completely incoherent. Like the other day, Evan came up to me. Now, the majority of the time I can figure out what he is saying, but when he whines he tends to be really, REALLY nasally. I know that a good parent just wouldn't respond to the griping, but, I am weak. A majority of the time, I give in to stop the insufferable grumbling. So, Evan was whimpering and climbed into my lap, while I was trying to have a conversation, and said:

"Mooooooooomb! I wada sis do."

Now, I interpreted that as "Mom, I wanna kiss you." and I puckered up.

"NOOOOOOO! I....(pause)....wada sis do."

Oh, ok second guess......"I wanna sit with you?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" He said with tears welling up in his eyes. "I....(pause)....wada......(pause).... sis do."

"I love my sis, too??" I know, REALLY bad guess....


"Ummmm, I have no idea what you are saying. I want to assist you?"

At his point in the conversation, he clinched his teeth as he blew out three deep breaths as if to say "Hey! Moron! Do you NOT speak English??"

So, I called in reinforcements, because Mikaily can understand everything her younger brother says.

"I wada sis do." He said to Mikaily, calmly.

"He says he wants a tissue."

"OHHHhhhh! Is that what you are saying?? You want a tissue??"


Apparently I don't speak English......and I went and got him a tissue. Of course, after I was up and in the kitchen getting a tissue, he asked me for a drink. Which he had been whining for and I had already told him he needed to wait for. My friend found this amusing. I was just glad I figured out what he was saying before his head exploded. That would have just been one more thing for me to clean up. Something tells me my swiffer wouldn't have been able to handle that mess...

So, has anyone come up with a good suggestion for dealing with "can't talk on the phone without hearing the moan" syndrome? Or, can someone tell me the exact does of Benadryl I need to give to my children to knock them out for, oh, say 30 minutes? I would easily be able to catch up with my friends then!! ;) Don't worry, I wouldn't really do that....probably. hehe

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


It is Sunday Morning.

I usually teach a class at church, but I am sick this particular Sunday. So, I decide to call my friend (who I know is a sucker and can't say no...hehe) and ask her if she will cover for me.

She has a little boy who is barely 4 (who I will call Charlie).


Charlie: Hello!! (this was abnormal, because I know that normally, Charlie would not be allowed to answer the phone)
Me: Hi Charlie! Is your Mommy there?
Charlie: Who is this??
Me: This is your Mommy's friend. Can I talk to her, please?
Charlie: No. She is in the shower right now.
Me: Oh, ok. Well, can I talk to your Daddy? (I assumed he must be right there beside Charlie)
Charlie: No.
Me: No?! I bet if you call your Daddy he will come and get the phone from you.
Charlie: No he won't. He is in the shower, too.

I told my friend about this when I talked to her later in the week. She said they were NOT in the shower together and that Charlie must have been right by the phone and picked it up before they even heard it ring.

Yea, likely story!! ;)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

One Small Step for Baby, One Giant Leap for Baby Kind

Don't worry. That's just a working title.

I had mentioned previously that we were going to start looking for a place to take Laney for water survival classes. When I first stared looking around, I was really only interested in teaching her water survival. I know some of you watched that video (2 posts down) of the poor baby that they just left floating on his back in his adorable little footy pajamas for more than five minutes. I don't know about you guys, but I was screaming at the monitor by the time his dad finally came and "rescued" him.

I talked to a whole bunch of people here and got the scoop on the best places to go. Well, after careful consideration, we have decided we aren't going to do water survival classes after all. We are going to do SWIM LESSONS! That's right, hopefully a month from now my just barely 1 year old will be SWIMMING!! And when I say swimming, I mean gliding through the water with the greatest of ease. They don't just teach them how to float, they teach them how to kick their legs and move their arms and get from point A to point B and they actually teach them how to climb OUT of the pool. They say that if the baby is comfortable enough in the water and actually enjoys being in the pool (which Laney does) they will teach them how to dive for rings.

Now, I can't imagine watching my itty, bitty baby girl doing this for the first time. I imagine it will give me some sort of stroke. At first I was like, "Why in the world would you ever teach a baby to dive for a ring??" I mean, I don't know about you, but if I see a baby sinking towards the bottom of a pool, my inner voice screams "HELP!! The baby is drowning!! Save her! SAVE HER YOU FOOL!!!!" I mean, air is kind of vital to our survival, isn't it?? BUT THEN.....I saw a video. It was a little boy who is only slightly older than Laney. He dove down, grabbed a big ring, turned himself back over, swam up towards his mama and reached out to hand it to her. He was so proud. I could totally imagine Laney's face as I pulled her up to me, ring in hand. She. would. be. PROUD. She watches her siblings dive for them and claps when they come up victorious. So, if is possible to teach her how to do that safely, why wouldn't SHE love doing it too??

Alright, so, the more comfortable a baby is in the water when they start, the faster they will get through each lesson and the more they would be able to get out of the lessons as a whole. (Well, DUH! That's kind of a given.) So, we decided to try and get Laney a little more comfortable going UNDER the water (And get myself a little more comfortable watching her BE under the water). So, we sat our older children along the side of the pool and then, one at a time, we had them fall off and into the water. They would lean forward, fall in, their heads would go under and then we would scoop them out. Laney sat and watched for a while. Then, it was her turn......

We couldn't believe SHE ACTUALLY DID IT!! And then she did it again....and again...and again.....She got to the point where she would fall in, come up, spit the water off her lips and then squeal with glee!! (heehee...I just used the word "glee")

It sure would be adorable if she actually took to this whole swimming thing (especially because that way we wouldn't feel like it was a big waste of money...of course it wouldn't be a waste of money even if the only thing she gets from it is being able to float on her back and keep her face out of the water. I mean, it's worth the money to even TRY if it means it could save her life, right??)

I will keep you all posted!

Oh, and Kyle told me I had to post this video too because he "looks so cool" in it.

They have been trying to learn how to do flips. I think I have a heart attack every time they try this because I just know that one of these times one of them is going to crack their head open.

No wonder I have so many grey hairs!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

CCC#1: Heads

OHMommy over at Classy Chaos is having a photo challenge. Click HERE for more details.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Soakin' Up Some Sun....Safely

Summer is here. This means different things to different people. For some, it means no school. Staying out late and spending time with friends. For some, it means long days spent at the beach, sipping lemonade (or whatever) and soaking in some rays. And for others it means wild rides at amusement parks. For me, it means anxiety attacks and excessive worry as I supervise my children in the swimming pool.

This morning, I read this blog. A blog that belongs to a mom who recently lost her daughter, who was only slightly older than Alaina, in a horrific drowning accident. My heart aches for her. I can not even fathom the loss that they are feeling right now. It's so hard. I have never "met" this woman, but she has been a part of my life (almost daily) for the last year through the blogosphere. My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. After all, I have a pool and a hot tub in my backyard. I try to do all I can to keep my children safe, but I imagine this mom was doing the same. It only takes a second, as I imagine all accidents do. You turn your head for a second in the store and your child is gone. You let go of their hand for one second in a parking lot and disaster can strike.

I read somewhere that drowning is actually the number one cause of accidental death in children under 5 years. This applies not only to drowning accidents in pools, but also in hot tubs, buckets (such as mopping buckets), bath tubs, fish tanks and toilets. It takes only one inch of water for a small child to drown. ONE INCH!!!!

We get things in the mail or see things on tv all the time about how drowning has been dubbed "the silent killer." If your child goes underwater, you can't hear him/her scream. They can't cry. They may flap their arms and kick their legs, but if they have not been taught how to relax and float, they immediately sink when they go in the water and you can't hear any splashing sounds when they are completely submerged.

I live in a state where swimming is a part of everyday life. We go to pool parties and have BBQ's on the beach. I teach my children how to swim, in hopes that if something were to happen, that might give me a few seconds longer to get to them. This all has reminded me that I really need to brush up on my CPR. I learned infant/child CPR when I had my first child, and I have brushed up on it numerous times since then. My problem is that as I am going through the motions, my mind starts to wander and I begin to panic about actually having to USE what I am learning at some point and I think that tends to be somewhat distracting and everything I am trying to remember doesn't sink in as well as it should. Does that happen to anyone else??

So, I have decided (I have been thinking about doing this for a month or so, now, and after reading about the tragic death of such a beautiful little baby I have decided for sure) that I am going to do water survival lessons with Alaina. These lessons don't teach her how to swim, they will teach her how to float and keep her face out of the water in case she ever were to fall into the pool or hot tub. I found this video on YouTube that shows what I want her to be able to do. It makes your heart pump a little at first, but dont worry....just keep watching. My children gathered around and were very interested as to what was going on.

Now, I am going to go hug my babies and tell them each how much I love them.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Aren't Sisters Great??

I can remember doing this kind of thing to my little brother. We used to dress him up and take him outside and introduce him to all the neighborhood kids as "Molly." Evan has an older sister that makes him put on a leotard here or a dress there. When my borther was Evan's age (3), he had 3 older sisters (5, 6, and 8 years old at the time). He was lucky to make it 2 hours without one of us trying to put his hair back into a clip or paint his nails or put a tutu on him. But, ya know, what else are little brothers for?? :)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Quote of the Week

Evan: "HEY!!!! Somebody put grape juice in my peaches!!!!" he exclaimed as he bit into a pear.

Monday, June 9, 2008

This Years Must-Have Birthday Accessory: Polka Dots!!

Last Thursday, my baby woke up looking like this...

COVERED IN SPOTS!!!!! I ran her to the doctor to get her checked out and it turns out it's hives. Although, these are not hives caused by any sort of allergic reaction, they are hives caused by a virus. Now, normally this wouldn't be such a huge deal to me, except for the fact that LANEY'S FIRST BIRTHDAY WAS LESS THAN 48 HOURS AWAY!! Go figure!! Thankfully, with a little Benadryl and a LOT or praying, by Saturday morning the hives were more of a light pink color and hardly noticeable.

I can't believe it has been an entire year! Does anyone have a tissue?? I still get all choked up thinking about what a big girl she is.

We had some family come into town and, since Laney loves the water so much, I threw her a little pool party.

To go along with the pool party theme, I decided to make cupcakes. In fact, I ended up making over 40 cupcakes!!!

We don't give our babies any kind of sweets before their first birthday, so the first real treat they get is their cake. Laney didn't really know what to make of it at first. She stared at it for a minute....then she kinda pushed it around with her finger. She got a little icing on her finger and licked it... and she absolutely LOVED it!! She smeared it all over herself and actually ended up eating almost the entire cupcake.

She had a blast opening her presents. Ok, well, so she didn't so much OPEN her presents as she did climb on and suck them.

She got a cute little outfit from her Aunt Jello that, coincidentally, matched an outfit that her cousin has!! :)

I think they may be the two cutest babies, EVER!! (And that is a totally and completely unbiased opinion).

We went outside after dark and played with sparklers.....and by we, I mean the adults. :) The kids came outside with us, but they are all too chicken to hold a sparkler, so we frolicked around in the cul-de-sac skipping and twirling. It was fun.

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful, sweetest little psycho baby there ever was!! I love you, my little Laney.