Tuesday, January 15, 2008

She Should TOTALLY Be On Fear Factor!

**WARNING!! Those who are eating may want to finish first! Those who have a weak stomach or who have eaten recently and have a sensitive gag reflex may want to grab a barf bucket for this one!**

My sister called me the other day.

"What is the grossest thing one of your babies put in their mouth?" she asked.

"Ummmmm, well...I can't really think of anything off the top of my head. Why?? What happened? Did Devyn (my barely 12 month old niece) eat something??"

She then proceeded to tell me that she had been talking on the phone. Devyn was crawling around playing with toys and books and the buttons on the TV...per her usual. My sister noticed she had something in her mouth. She ran over and began the "finger sweep" to see what Devyn had gotten her hands on this time. That child gets ahold of EVERYTHING she shouldn't! She felt something. It was squishy and wet. What in the world was it?? She scooped it out and began to examine it. She was horrified. (You got that barf bucket ready??) It was a teeny (as in smaller than the size of your pinky fingernail).....black (as in the opposite of white)....shrivled up (as in all wrinkly and gross).....DEAD (as in NOT living)....frog!!! (I think I threw up a little in my mouth when my sister told me that)

This comes only a few weeks (or maybe a month or so) after my other sister was sitting at home while Devyn was playing around. She looked over and saw a small bug climbing up the front of Devyn's shirt (and yes, it is normal to have all sorts of little bugs and frogs and other critters crawling around your house here...it is impossible to completely rid your house of them).

Devyn noticed the bug. She began to pinch at it with her tiny fingers and after a time or two, she pinched that nasty little buggy and popped it in her mouth in one fell swoop!! MMMmmmmmmm!! Protein!! My sister did get it out of her mouth before she swallowed it, but I imagine Devyn crunched it a time or two first.

Those Fear Factor contestants ain't got nothin' on this beautiful baby girl!


Oh, and just in case you were wondering. After thinking about it for a minute...The grossest thing any of my littles got into their mouths was a toss up....Both times it was Kyle. He also put EVERYTHING in his mouth. Once, he had stuck his hand down the back of his dirty diaper and before I noticed, he had poo smeared all over his lips. The other time I was walking in the Wal-Mart parking lot, holding Kyle's hand (he was probably about 2), and he reached down, scooped up a nasty cigarette butt and popped it into his mouth. I just about barfed all over my cart full of groceries. COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!! PUT YOUR FREAKIN' BUTTS IN THE PROPER TRASH RECEPTACLES!!

23 comments:

Leah said...

ewwwwwww!

Emily ate a dead ant off the floor and swallowed it in the two seconds it took me to get to her (she was about 9 months old). Jared got a cigarette butt in his mouth in the playground area of the park (turned my back for two seconds to get a snack out of the diaper bag for him; he was about 15 months old). I can't think of anything Connor's had in his mouth... But I saw him coming down the hallway with a steak knife in his hand the other day (which he got out of a drawer, from way in the back, where I was sure no curious little fingers could reach); I'd almost have rathered he had a dead frog in his mouth...

HUGS to Devyn! LOL

Stacie said...

OMG, puke.

Yeah, maybe one day she can make her mommy millions (or whatever the prize is on Fear factor)

Angie said...

OMGoodness! That is probably the nastiest thing I have ever read. I have a 4 year old thumb sucker, so I thought nothing could gross me out with respect to what goes into a mouth (think public amusement park and thumb-sucking, or petting zoo and thumb sucking), but babies and dead amphibians just dont mix!
KEEP BELIEVING

Kellan said...

What a funny story - "as in dead" - I loved that whole passage!!! She is too adorable to be eating any little dead creatures!

Take care and maybe tell your sister to keep her propped on a hip until she's big enough to understand what is acceptable edible and not - HA! See ya. Kellan

Dawn said...

She looks so sweet, like a little lady! I can't imagine something that gross going into her mouth!

Cecily R said...

Oh that's bad. Bad. I'm not even going to try to top it.

On the bright side of things, she's absolutely adorable!

newduck said...

Ew, ew, ew. This is going to sound awful, but I actually think I'd be more upset by my baby eating a cigarette butt than a frog. How weird am I?

By the way, thanks for the latest comment on my blog! I'm adding you to my blogroll and look forward to more war stories from the battle of motherhood!

newduck said...

Okay, now I feel like a HUGE idiot! I just saw the "comment moderation" thing. Aha. I don't blame you for moderating your comments. I'm thinking about doing the same thing. Someone named "Anonymous" (why are they always anonymous?) left this comment on my last post: "How about this comment from a smug already-mother: Suck it up and quit complaining. We all went through it. Wanna get more sleep? Don't have a baby."

Dude. People are seriously screwed up.

OHmommy said...

OMG. Say it isn't so!

Valarie said...

Leah- LOL! Yes, I definitely think a toddler weilding a steak knife is worse than a toddler eating...well, anything.

Stacie- Can you believe the people on Fear Factor would only get $50,000??? Doens't seem worth that to me....

Newduck - Yes, a cigarette butt is definitely more disgusting than a dead frog. In fact, I believe my poo trumps the dead frog as well.

Damama T said...

Maybe she was Cajun in another life?? They actually eat frogs on purpose!

I love lurking around here because you keep me cracking up! Your style is terrific and your thoughts are oh, so, amusingly original. KEEP IT UP! Oh, and I promise to leave comments more often, too.

TTFN!

Beth said...

Smeared poo? Dead frogs? Ha! This post had me giggling.

The grossest thing my daughter ever put in her mouth was a piece of prechewed gum that she scraped off the underneath of a table at Mcdonald's. I almost lost it when she did it!

One Scrappy Gal said...

My son put his hand in his poopy diaper and proceeded to lick his fingers.

There wasn't enough bleach in the world for his mouth! I was brushing his teeth for hours!!

Don Mills Diva said...

Oh that is disgusting!
So glad I found your blog - really enjoy it!

girlymom said...

Oh man- that is really really bad!! Our worst thing.... well, when waiting for daughter #1 to finally finish going potty in a public bathroom, I turn to grab toilet paper, turn back and my 2nd daughter is SUCKING on the toilet handle, the stick you push to flush. How do you put antibacterial soap in her mouth and clean that out? Yuck! I am a germ freak, can't stand public germs- Ew!

Valarie said...

Girlymom- Ok, I think yours definitely takes the cake!!

Maria said...

Oh, that's bad. I don't remember my kids putting anything that gross into their mouths, but I DO remember once my daughter broke a glass and put the broken glass in her mouth. She didn't cut herself, but I was worried that she ate some glass!

Valarie said...

maria- yeah, that's pretty scary. My niece, actually did that a few months back. Luckily she didn't cut herself or sallow any either.

Beck said...

One of my kids barfed in my mouth once. Shockingly, I lived.

onthegomom said...

I am either in denial or just really, really lucky because I don't remember my kids eating anything of that nature when they were little (they are 18 down to 10 now). The only thing I remember is my daughter (the youngest) ate a piece of dog food once. But, heck, that is nothing compared to those things you talked about!!!!!!!!!

Kathy said...

Ewwww! My kids never put stuff like that in their mouths. The worst I had was a dime! I did, however, have a diaper incident when we were driving back on Bluegrass Parkway to visit family when Aurea was still in diapers. She stuck her hand in it and managed to smear it all over herself and the backseat of my car before I could find a way to pull over on the interstate! It was horrible!!

www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

katie said...

ewww. holy cow, I would have freaked out! A frog is definitely a new one. And I have 4 boys, I've heard and seen a lot.

Heather said...

Her actions definitely belie her appearance! At least she’ll eat her veggies.