Thursday, February 28, 2008

Unsolicited Advice

I have a friend who is pregnant with her first child right now. She is going to make an amazing mom. As a pregnant women, she has been getting lots and lots of advice.....mostly unsolicited and probably mostly...ok, totally and completely, incorrect. Of course, since she is so smart she will listen to everything I say and do exactly as I tell her, because, after all, I am a FABULOUS mom and I totally deserve a mother of the year award. :) Love you E!! Can't wait for you to join the ranks of vomit-filled, poo-smeared, sleepless nights motherhood.

So, she sent this email out and I found it amusing...


Ok, so this one is pretty clear. No making baby spit wads.


Does anyone else find this baby really creepy??????

Well, obviously everyone knows not to give their baby a big, dirty shoe to chew on. Baby shoes fit in their mouths MUCH better!


Crap, I guess no more lapping up the breastmilk from the bottle like a dog. I guess I'll just have to make my husband take a vitamin to get his calcium from here on out.

Yes, please make sure all arms and legs are tucked safely inside the drawer before closing it...

The little guy sure does look cute chillin' in the bottom of the fish tank, though.

Well, DUH!! Everyone knows the baby is supposed to face BACKWARDS!

So, I'm confused. Are babies not supposed to go in dog cages?? I mean, she gave him water, right?

HA!!! If only.......

*** DISCLAIMER: All comments in this blog are meant to be comical and not intended for use in everyday life. Please do not put your baby in a dog cage and give him a dirty shoe to chew on!!

24 comments:

HILLARY said...

That is tooo funny. Where do people come up with these things. And I don't think there's anything wrong with a drawer, as long as it's big enough! And if you're going to do the cage, I hope you get a leash to go with it!!!

the dragonfly said...

Oh, thank you for the laugh this morning! I especially like the baby in the drawer and the baby in the fishtank. Perfect. I have to share this post with my husband. :)

Family Adventure said...

These are hysterical...I wonder where she found them?

But my favourite part...the disclaimer. Sadly, I don't dare say that it wasn't necessary...

Heidi :)

Dawn said...

Thanks for sharing those funny pictures. I'm sure they're some people out there somewhere who might actually need those. ;)

Bonnie B. said...

Those were funny. He did look pretty cute chillin in the tank. Dad trying to "feed" the baby, a little creepy.

utmomof5 said...

A good laugh is always the best way to start the day!! My favorite is the nursing one. The chest hair while nursing is just very wrong on so many levels!!!

Christina

Heather said...

But that first one is really, really fun. Just ask my two boys.

Cecily R said...

I haven't laughed that hard at a blog post in a long time! It started with the drawer and just got worse from there. Your disclaimer? Hilarious!

Lauren said...

I don't think it is bad to let your kid chew on a dirty shoe...great for teething, right?

Heh, heh, just kidding!

onthegomom said...

That was funny! I think I am scared from that last picture though! :-)

Kellan said...

That was so funny - I loved the dresser drawer one - tee hee! Have a good weekend - see you soon. Kellan

girlymom said...

I love it, love it, love it!

How to Nurse a Baby is great~ if only that was possible...no more sleepless nights for Mommy!

Have a great weekend!

katie said...

WHERE DO YOU GET THESE?!

still laughing...
too funny.

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

oh thanks for that! I love the pet one and the breast feeding one! Love it!

Law Student Hot Mama said...

Man! Does that mean I can't suckle my own boob anymore!? Spoil sports . . .

One Scrappy Gal said...

These made me chuckle!! Thanks for sharing. :)

Matroskin said...

Babies find the dirty shoes anyway. Licking the soles of shoes seems to be something they like doing when one's back is turned. Yuck.

Autumn said...

HAHA! My dad sent that to me while they were watching our babe for a week. Yikes. Really its great. Cute video below. How fun!

Don Mills Diva said...

That is one of the funniest things I have seen in a very long time! Thanks for the laughs!

Kathy said...

LOL! These are hillarious, thanks for the laugh! Sad that these days you have to add a disclaimer though!


www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

Katie said...

Classic. So they do come with instruction manuals these days?!!!

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

just to let you know. I showed these to my husband and he was dying! He loved them! Espesally the nursing one!

Leah said...

ROFL!!! My cousin's girlfriend got that book at her baby shower. It's hilarious!

Brandi said...

I have a sil who actually let her kids chew on the shoes she was wearing. Yuck! I once tried to move one of her babies away from her shoe and she said, "That's o.k., she does it all the time." The next babe was allowed to as well. I had to learn not to look.