I hate to run. Well, really I guess I don't hate to run. I used to love to run. I used to run all the time when I was in high school. I played baskteball and soccer and ran track. Nowadays, when I run, things are all jiggly and I am lucky I don't give myself two black eyes from my boobs flopping all over. I am SOOO out of shape.
I decided that I needed to lose some weight and get myself back into shape. So, I started walking my dog, Taz, at night. My dog is old and out of shape, so I was hopeful he would make me look good. Haha....yeah right. I started walking Taz and after a little while of that I decided I could try running some as well. There was just one problem. The jiggly. Do I really want my neighbors to see all my jiggliness?? No WAY! Ok, well, no problem. I could just go out after dark. So, that's what I started doing. I would walk Taz when we were under a street light in a well lit area, and then run when I was in a darker area. That way no one could see me very well. I bet that wouldn't look weird or anything, huh? :) I am sure that anyone watching me figured I was a big fraidy cat since I would only run where it was dark. But I figure if anyone is watching me that closely they probably lead a pretty sad and boring life and it could be my good deed for the day to let them get a good laugh while watching me run (Right, OneSrappyGal? :)).
So, on to the point.....last night I was walking/running with him. I had decided to try and run a little more than normal. I got to the place where we were probably about a half mile away from my home. I was pretty tired by then. I heard this weird noise. It sounded like it might be some sort of bird....? Maybe. It was familiar. I heard it again. No, I don't think it's a bird. Where have I heard that sound before?? I heard it a third time. Definitely not a bird. My heart started to pump harder. Taz even reacted to the sound. His ears perked up a little. He turned his head in the direction of the sound and started sniffing the air. I picked up the pace some, but like I said before, I am REALLY out of shape. So, I was pretty tired by this point. Again, I heard the weird sound. I gasped. I knew, without a doubt, where I had heard it from!! It was the sound a velociraptor makes in the Jurassic Park movies!! I took off running. I saw a street light coming up. OH geez. I had a big decision to make. Do I risk slowing my pace to a walk and getting eaten by a velociraptor? Or do I dare continue running and make my jiggly self visible to the whole world under this street light??
I chose gory death by velociraptor.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Posted by Valarie at 3:39 PM