Friday, October 19, 2007

Mom Rules!

I have found myself using a lot of "momisms" lately and since I am all about the lists, I think I will make a short list of my favorites! Some I use daily, others I remember my mother using on my siblings and me.

1. "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too??" I always found this one interesting because, in fact, I have jumped off a BRIDGE after my friends had. It was not something I would have ever done on my own, so I guess when my mother directed this one towards me my answer would have been "How high is the cliff we are jumping off??"

2. "Your shoes didn't walk off by themselves!!" I am usually saying this to my oldest daughter and, unfortunately for her, her shoes might as well have walked off by themselves. Usually they have walked off on the feet of her younger brothers and we find one stuffed in the couch cushion and the other floating in the bathroom sink!

3. "Because I said so!!" Really, need I say more on this one??

4. "Put that down!! You don't know where it's been!!" This is mainly used when small children are picking things up in public. Things like pennies, cigarette butts (ick!! putt your butts in proper trash recepticles people!!), "used" chewing gum, half eaten hot dogs, candy, and anything else that seems to be magnetic to tiny fingers and crawling with some sort of cummunicable disease!

5. "Do it before I count to 3." I don't like using this one, but of course it comes flying out of my mouth when my child doesn't obey. Consequently, I have to start the dreaded count...1......2.......2 and a half.......2 and three quarters....When my children are learning to count they get confused when they never see the number 2 and a half!

6. "You're too old to act this way." Unfortunately, most of the time, my children AREN'T too old to be acting this way. They are, after all, pretty young. I think this one is better used on my 5th and oldest child, namely my husband!

7. "Eat your food! Threr are starving children in Africa!" Think this has anything to do with the obesity rate in Americans?? I heard of a man once who claimed he became fat as a public service to keep those children from starving.

8. "Always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." Now, I have been in an accident myself before and know of many people who have also been unfortunate enough to have this in common with me and I don't believe that having clean panties helped me one darn bit!!

9. "Look both ways before crossing the street!" Now this is exceptional advice. I can't count the number of times I would have been pummled by a passing truck or stepped on the chicken crossing the road had I not followed my mother's advice!

10. "They're just jealous. That's all." Ahhh, the ultimate attempt to calm the child who's self esteem has been crushed by cruel peers. I love it that this momism always seems to be used just as that glimmer of revenge creeps into her mind and she begins to plan the untimely demise of her childs annoyance.

If you read this blog, leave a comment!! Even if I don't know you, let me know if you have a favorite momism from the present or past.


Autumn said...

One of my mom's (though she doesn't recall) "leave your house clean in case you have a fire and someone has to see it". This didn't mean anything to me until last year when we DID have a fire. I was walking through the house with the fireman, saw my messy room and knew exactly what she was talking about.

Autumn said...

ps, I love your new layout

Anonymous said...
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MKB said...

As a child, I hated the "Don't make me stop this car!" one so I have NEVER used that with my children! I guess I hated the idea of getting a spanking in front of thousands of motorists...
We don't spank so if I said that to my children they would think I was stopping the car to jump to the back to watch Bob the Builder with them!!
Love your blog!

Debi said...

my mom used to say " I'll give you something to cry about!"
she was big on spanking ( i'm not)
It makes no sense to me..if your kid is crying, telling them to stop or they'll get spanked usually won't work.. and spanking them will just prolong the crying.
when i would hear the line about starving children in {insert foreign country here} I often thought ' well lets send the food to them then'

onthegomom said...

Let's see... I was told so many times "do as I say, not as I do" and I do believe I have NEVER used that on one of my kids, only because I hated it :).

The one I am guilty of using is "Don't make me {insert whatever you are doing...get up out of this chair or get up from this computer or stop this car}. For some reason my kids believe that I will in fact "do something" if I have to stop the car or get up, or whatever. Strange. They are such believing little souls... If only they knew that I had no idea what the "do something" would even be. Luckily I don't have to use it that often.

Great post! I really enjoyed it.

Leah said...

"Do I have to tell you again?" Or "Don't make me have to tell you again."

My mom didn't do the "don't make me stop this car." Hers was, "I'll turn this car around and we can go right back home if you guys don't know it off!" And one time, we didn't knock it off and she had to turn the car around and take us right back home. Which she quickly realized was just as much punishment for herself since she'd been looking forward to the outing. Lesson learned: dont' threaten anything you aren't willing to follow through with. Her future threats consisted of us sitting in the corner witnessing, but not participating, in the fun at the event we were heading to. LOL!

My Love and Logic "chant" when my children are trying to argue their way into getting me to change my mind (do they not realize I'm every bit as stubborn and stead-fast as they are??? LOL) is to calmly and as repetitively as needed say, "I love you too much to argue." With my five year old, I say it once and she gets that defeated, yet VERY ANNOYED look on her face and knows not to push it. My three year old, who USED to accept me after saying it once, has now decided that he must just need to be louder and more flamboyant (spelling?) with his requests and maybe THEN I'll give in. I don't. It gets ugly. But in the end, I stand calmly reminding him I love him too much to argue and he admits defeat. Game over. (until the next time). My children will probably refuse to ever use that saying for their own children, but it really really works (assuming you can keep a straight face, and I will admit, I've broken down and cracked up laughing at how infuriated poor Jared gets) I'm so mean. not really... *grin*

Meegan said...

I find myself using one that I really don't remember my own mom using, but it's useful. "Put your ears on and listen to me!" My almost-3 year old will usually tug on his ears at this point, as if trying to show me they are indeed on his head!

Michelle said...

"I've told you a thousand times not to...(insert current problem here)" and after they say "I want" I say what my dad used to say to me. "People in hell want ice water".
My dad was full blooded Irish so he had a lot of them that I know I now use too. I just can't remember them all right now and my 12 year old obviously doesn't listen to me anyway because he can't remember any of them either :)