Monday, October 22, 2007

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say....

I have been talking to my friend Jude (stay at home mom of 5) about the crazy things that people say to me now that I have 4 children. I grew up in a family with 5 children and that to me was a normal sized family. Not too big, not too small. Just average. So it is amazing to me that people think my family with 4 children is such a huge family. I have had some interesting things said to me, mostly in the grocery store, by nosey strangers. I know that the majority of people are most likely well intentioned, but I could not imagine going up to a woman in a grocery store that had only one child and saying "Seriously, One? That's ALL you're going to have??" A few of my favorite comments (that have either been said to me or a friend of mine) are:

Are they ALL yours? (No, I just gather up the neighborhood children to take on a field trip every time I need to go grocery shopping)
Do they all have the same father? (I especially love this one)
Don't you have a television? or Haven't you ever heard of birth control? or Don't you know how babies are made (For this, Jude told me to reply...YES! And obviously we are REALLY good at it!)
You must be a glutton for punishment.
Are you Mormon? (why, yes, I am!!)or Are you Catholic? or Are you CRAZY?!? (No crazier than the strange people that accost a mom and her four small children walking through the store)
Wow! Your husband must have a good job to be able to afford that many kids! Do you know how much raising a child costs?? (Um, duh! I have four of them!!)
We only had one (or two) so that we can give her the attention she needs.

The last one (as my friend Jude informed me) I guess comes along with a long list of excuses as to why they didn't have anymore children and about how their husbands got "snipped" (as they make a scissor-like hand gesture). Can't wait to have a stranger tell me all about how her husband has been fixed!!

So, the moral of my story is....if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!! (Yet another momism I love!!)


onthegomom said...

Or when you are pregnant and they come up and touch your belly and ask when you are due? You tell them and they say "wow you look way bigger than that". WOW, thanks, I didn't know!!!!!!

My grandma has a great comeback to people that ask nosey questions: "Why do you want to know?" I've had people stare at me in wonderment when I say that to them and I am sure they are thinking how rude I AM!!

Rick said...


Thank you for visiting my blog. Regarding your question at the end of your comments... I try not to think about such things -- it tends to wreck my consentration.

suburbancorrespondent said...

The television comment is the one that always gets me. I mean, I'd be sort of insulted if my husband preferred watching TV to...well, you know!

Dragonstar said...

I've never understood why a bulging belly and tots in tow should make it OK for strangers to pry. And then there's the ones who, when you're newly-wed, keep asking when you intend to start a family and don't leave it too long (it was over 5 years before the first arrived, though we made up for it later!)
Whose business is it anyhow?

desirae said...

I love big families.. I want a big family.. And here's my idea, when I have a big family, and someone comes up and asks one of those questions, I think I'll whip out some form of birth control (like a condom), and hand it to them.. I'll say, hey we obviously don't need them, as you just pointed out, however you and your tact need not reproduce.. Or I'll hand them a card for a discount on liposuction or something else sure to make them think the next time they get nosy with someone..