Monday, November 24, 2008

Don't Blame Me. It Wasn't My Idea!!

As a mom, I am always trying to teach my children independence.

It seems to be a very fine line that I have to walk. For example....I will let them choose an outfit and dress themselves. However, they are not allowed to wear jeans and a raggedy old t-shirt to church. I will let them help me plan meals and then help make dinner. But dinner can not consist of jelly beans, potato chips and hot chocolate.

This brings me to Saturday afternoon. I was cutting Kyle's hair. Kyle has crazy hair. It is perfectly straight. There is no body to it. However, it it extremely thick and very coarse and tends to stick out in all different directions if we let it grow out even the slightest bit. So I just take the clippers and I buzz his head. It works best that way. He likes it that Mommy then spends the next week and a half rubbing his head because I love that "peach fuzz" feel.

So, I am almost done with his hair and I call Evan.

"Ev, your hair needs cut a little, too. So I am gonna do you next, ok?"

"Yup!" He replied, as he danced around to whatever music was playing in his head.

Evan's hair was looking pretty shaggy. I tend to let his grow for a LOOONG time in between cuts because his curls just make my heart melt. I always tell him his hair is curly because his brain is overloaded with "craziness" and so that crazy then spills out through the tiny holes on his head. We call them his "crazy curls." He prides himself on being wacky and, therefore, has always loved his crazy curls.



So, I was finishing Kyle and brushing off all of the hair that had fallen onto his neck and his shoulders when Evan comes, cart wheeling into the room.

"I want my hair just like Kyle's!" I started giggling a little because lately Evan has wanted to do EVERYTHING just like his big brother.

I opened my mouth to say "NO FREAKIN' WAY am I hacking off all those beautiful curls!!" When my wonderful husband blurted out "OK!"

I think my jaw hit the floor. "Wait. No. It's not ok. I am not cutting off all his hair!"

Evan came over and stood beside me. Tears started to well up in his eyes as he said "YES! I want to be just like Kyle!"

ACK! My heart was screaming out to tell him 'too bad so sad' and know that he would be over it by morning, but my head had to butt in and remind me that although he is still little, he is trying to find his place in this world as a big boy. He is only 4 years old, but I think that is definitely old enough to be voicing his opinions and for me to hear them.

I debated for a few minutes while I got him all ready and in the chair. I decided there was no way I was going to do it. I couldn't. I took the clippers in my hand. He looked up at me and smiled and said "Just like Kyle?" I took a deep breath, smiled back, nodded and said "Just like Kyle."

I then proceeded to chop all of his gorgeous, brown locks off. I teared up as I watched the hair falling to the floor, creating a big pile of soft, c-shaped curls. Evan noticed that I was upset and said, (with a very strong 'you are such a goober undertone') "Mom, they'll grow back."

So, here he is with his new "do." Which, by the way, he absolutely loves.



Doesn't he look like a totally different kid?? He is right. They will grow back (which apparently is a good thing because some of the women at church just about went into shock when they saw him yesterday).

In retrospect, I am glad I listened to him. He is growing up so fast and I want him to know that his opinions matter and that he should absolutely stick to his guns when he feels strongly about something.

However, get a close look at the picture above because I AM NEVER CUTTING HIS CURLS OFF AGAIN!!!!!!!

21 comments:

utmomof5 said...

I don't think I could have done it. i would have had to hand the clippers to my husband and made him do it!

You are right about doing it though! We have to let go at some point and let them make a choice or two!

Mrs. Blimes said...

evan has broken my heart (sniffle)
but he does look so so cute and grown up with short hair!

Amanda B. said...

Wow!!! He does look so completely different!!! My goodness- I would almost swear those were pictures of two different kids. Both pictures show and unbelievably adorable child. That had to have been hard. But, good for you for promoting his independence. What a sweet story! :)

Neelans Family said...

Another shining example of why you deserve the big trophy :) His hair was beautiful and yep, it'll grow back - you're doing a great job!!

Stacie said...

oh my goodness, yes, that would be hard for me to do too, I love his curls. HOWEVER, he does look quite handsome with his new 'do too!

Mom to 5 Boys said...

Oh my! He just grew up! True he looks cute, but the curls are all gone! Just keep telling yourself they'll grow back!

Dawn said...

There's no way that Evan could ever look anything but cute..even without those gorgeous curls. That must have been so hard for you though. I admire you for listening to him- I bet that meant a lot to him, and yes...they will grow back.

Valarie said...

Quesas- I am still worried he will wake up in a few days and ask for them back and then his heart will be broken. I guess that will be a good lesson in consequences, right??

Jenny said...

I can't believe what a different kid he looks like! Wow, I think he does look like Kyle! Don't stone me, but I like his new do...makes him look all grown up! However, I do understand 'cause I'm never chopping off Ali's hair...never!

Bonnie the Boss said...

You are a good mom to let him choose! I am sure it was hard, because his curls are so adorable.
He does look like a big boy, and I actually like the haircut. I think you notice his beautiful eyes even more.

Betsy said...

I think I would have cried... thankfully I have none of the curls to worry about. (I guess I am a little thankful. :) )

Erynn Marie said...

At least he didn't do it himself--or none of the other kids did it--while you were away on vacation or something! That would have been a shock to come back home to!

Valarie said...

Erynn- I don't know...that might have actually been less traumatic for me than hacking them all off myself!

Porters said...

I don't believe you did it, I would have said No Way To Bad! He looks all grown up, its crazy how much they change when their hair is cut or done different. I tried to let Mason have longer hair but it is so straight he would look so silly. I sure hope those beautiful curls do grow back for your sake but will he go back .
Have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy Twilight!!!

Kellan said...

Sometimes they win! He looks darling - like a little man! I do love his curls, though - I don't blame you for not wanting to cut them!

Have a great Thanksgiving with your family, Valarie - see you soon - Kellan

Kaci said...

Oh I would of bawled...I bawled when I first cut El's bangs. LOL! :)

savin said...

I think the kid looks rather handsome without the curls.

Just me said...

Oh, I said, Awwww out loud. You did such a good job:) You're a great mom for, as you said, letting his opinions matter. That's huge! Good for you! He's a cutie by the way:)

Michele said...

Hi Val, love your blog - it always makes me laugh. Your kids are adorable! With and without curls!

Jennifer said...

What a little man! He is adorable! It's kinda like Maddie. She likes her hair short and she knows it!

Anonymous said...

Oh, but look at the sparkles in his eyes with his new "do". You did the right thing. Good Mom. :) Margie