Friday, October 10, 2008

RaNdOm GaRbAgE

Today has been one of those days.

I had to go to WalMart. WalMart is always an interesting place to go. It's always good for a laugh....or a cry...or a total and complete mental breakdown.
At one point when I was there, I was looking through the racks of clothes in the little boys section. Evan was looking at the shirts that had Spiderman on them that were folded and stacked on a shelf. A WalMart employee came walking past, took Evan by the shoulders, pulled him back away from the shelf and said "Don't mess those up by pulling them off of there kid." I karate chopped her in her wrinkly throat. Ok, not really. But I wanted to. I did in my mind. I grabbed Evan's shirt and pulled him over to me and told her I would appreciate if she didn't put her hands on my child. That'll teach her!

So then like 7 minutes later I was walking through the cereal aisle and just about got run over by an old man in his electric wheelchair. Then, that same old man just about made Evan road kill as we were getting in line. I had to yell at Evan to get out of the way. Evan saw the guy at the last minute and squealed like a girl and took off running. I threw an egg at the back of the old guys head...in my mind, of course.

You wanna know why I decided to go to WalMart instead of going to the little, local grocery store that I loved so much? Because I am a weirdo, that's why! This little store that I normally go to is awesome! The store is clean, the employees are genuinely nice (They still carry your groceries out to the car for you) and the shelves are always stocked!! Which is why I can't go there. You see, I used to stand at the end of the aisle and look down at all of the food, pulled out perfectly to the end of the shelf. Everything was always in it's place. Then one day, I thought to myself, "How is it that all of their products are pulled out to the end of the shelf?" I had seen people on a few occasions fixing them, but not that often. So then my next thought was, "I wonder if they have little product trolls that sit on the back of the shelves and, as people take whatever they want, the little trolls run up and shove the other items to end of the shelf, therefore making everything look perfect. Then, as I walked through the aisles to finish my shopping, I pictured these little, hairy trolls, covered in gloop, lying in wait.....

I can't go back there anymore......or at least not for awhile.

This afternoon, I found my 16 month old in my kitchen sink. She (aided by her big brother I am guessing) pushed the big bucket of Lego's over and climbed up on top of it. I would have snapped a picture but I was afraid while I was running to grab the camera she might A) try to climb out and fall and crack her head open on the tile floor B) grab a dirty knife and plunge it into her heart (Yes, I know, slightly dramatic) and C) the sink was full of dirty dishes and...how embarrassing for me to post my dirty dishes for all of my blogger buddies to see (because I am sure you all have pristine, sparkly clean sinks)!! So, you will just have to use your imagination on this one. I guess I am gonna have to find a safe place to hide the knives now, huh?

I actually encourage her to climb, though. I know you probably think that's weird. But here's my thinking: If I grab her and pull her down every time she climbs on anything, she won't get any better at climbing and the probability that she will fall and hurt herself is much greater. So, letting her climb and become an expert is a much better option than taking everything out of the house (which would include, but is not limited to, my kitchen table and chairs, our sofas, her crib, the toy box, the highchair, the side tables, the toy shelves, the bookshelves, the computer desk and chair, the TV stand, the drawers in the kitchen, the dressers and the treadmill and apparently every box of toys we own) that she could possibly hurt herself on. You can tell from the last post that trying to clear out one room and gating her into it is no longer an option. So, look out Mt. Everest! Here Laney comes. I think she can probably start her training by climbing the mountain of laundry we have accumulating in the hallway!

Ok, so there you have it. Just some random garbage I thought I would share. Hopefully you don't feel dumber now for reading it!

14 comments:

Porters said...

I had one of those days yeaterday and I don't know why I go to Walmat either oh yeah, its the only place I can afford. I find if I go early enough I don't run into as may crazy people. I am also not looking forward to my little climber but you've pretty much help me see that there is really nothing we can do about it.
I sure hope you have a better weekend!

Leah said...

awww shucks, you've just reminded me of the insanely huge piles of clean and dirty laundry I have been avoiding for days now (avoiding folding/putting away the clean stuff, avoiding wasthing/etc the dirty stuff).

Funny about the kid in the sink! ha! I've found Connor in some great places, and didn't take pics either, for the sake of what might be seen in the photograph as well. LOL

The Koenig Family said...

Hey Val! Remember me from back in the day?--.Kelly Hamm. I found you on a friends blog and added you in. I can't believe how your family has grown. The last time I saw you I think you had two.--Time flies, huh. I love your blog and your last post was too funny--I love your thoughts of what you wanted to do with the Wal-Mart peeps.

Dawn said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your "random garbage"...and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one with a laundry mountain in my house.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Wal-mart is always good for a laugh. And how dare she pull him away from the shelf! RUDE!!!

Good luck with all that laundry!

Brenda said...

Too funny! I have a love/hate relationship with our Walmart too, so I can relate! Also have a pile of laundry, which is really bad, because my inlaws will be here soon and their bedsheets are in it! Oops!!

Frogs in my formula said...

I feel the same way about WalMart. Every time I go, I think "Why did I come here??" Funny post--glad I stopped by.

Amanda B. said...

Walmart is certainly one of those places..... I understand! I can't believe that lady would grab your son! Geez! I'd have been upset too! Sorry it took so long to get back to you- I have been out of town.

Letter Tag- you're it- you get the Letter M

Betsy said...

I wouldn't have blamed you if you karate chopped the walmart worker in the neck. I would have. I work there and would never even dream of doing that! (maybe think it, but not do it!)

Jennifer said...

You might have been a little bit more "in control" of yourself than I would have been. As soon as that Walmart worker turned their back I would have gone and unfolded every stinkin' t-shirt on that shelf myself!!! I hate Walmart a little too much I think. But yet, I keep going back. What's up with that???

Kaci said...

I loathe WAL-MART I so would of bitch slap that lady...sorry but it's true. I know I'm evil but how dare she grab your child! Oh and I used to work at Wal-Mart so pooey on them! LOL! No I didn't get fired just graduated and got a better job. I'm not mean I swear...dang I should of been there. Love your post and climb climb climb!

Jenny said...

Walmart--the necessary evil. I have a love/hate relationship with
Walmart...love the prices, hate to go there (we call it "hell" in our house). In fact, to hear Scott yelling out, "Hey honey, I'm going to hell" doesn't ever surprise me--in multiple ways! hee hee. Oh and p.s. I'll come fold your laundry if you wash mine!!

onescrappygal said...

One of the things they told us in O.T. and P.T. is let the child climb. They get stronger that way. So let her climb to her heart's content. :)

Thanks for putting product trolls into my head. I will never, ever be the same again!

domineehuisvrouw said...

I love that you're afraid to show us your dirty dishes, yet you snapped a pic of your laundry mountain!