RaNdOm GaRbAgE

Today has been one of those days.

I had to go to WalMart. WalMart is always an interesting place to go. It's always good for a laugh....or a cry...or a total and complete mental breakdown.
At one point when I was there, I was looking through the racks of clothes in the little boys section. Evan was looking at the shirts that had Spiderman on them that were folded and stacked on a shelf. A WalMart employee came walking past, took Evan by the shoulders, pulled him back away from the shelf and said "Don't mess those up by pulling them off of there kid." I karate chopped her in her wrinkly throat. Ok, not really. But I wanted to. I did in my mind. I grabbed Evan's shirt and pulled him over to me and told her I would appreciate if she didn't put her hands on my child. That'll teach her!

So then like 7 minutes later I was walking through the cereal aisle and just about got run over by an old man in his electric wheelchair. Then, that same old man just about made Evan road kill as we were getting in line. I had to yell at Evan to get out of the way. Evan saw the guy at the last minute and squealed like a girl and took off running. I threw an egg at the back of the old guys head...in my mind, of course.

You wanna know why I decided to go to WalMart instead of going to the little, local grocery store that I loved so much? Because I am a weirdo, that's why! This little store that I normally go to is awesome! The store is clean, the employees are genuinely nice (They still carry your groceries out to the car for you) and the shelves are always stocked!! Which is why I can't go there. You see, I used to stand at the end of the aisle and look down at all of the food, pulled out perfectly to the end of the shelf. Everything was always in it's place. Then one day, I thought to myself, "How is it that all of their products are pulled out to the end of the shelf?" I had seen people on a few occasions fixing them, but not that often. So then my next thought was, "I wonder if they have little product trolls that sit on the back of the shelves and, as people take whatever they want, the little trolls run up and shove the other items to end of the shelf, therefore making everything look perfect. Then, as I walked through the aisles to finish my shopping, I pictured these little, hairy trolls, covered in gloop, lying in wait.....

I can't go back there anymore......or at least not for awhile.

This afternoon, I found my 16 month old in my kitchen sink. She (aided by her big brother I am guessing) pushed the big bucket of Lego's over and climbed up on top of it. I would have snapped a picture but I was afraid while I was running to grab the camera she might A) try to climb out and fall and crack her head open on the tile floor B) grab a dirty knife and plunge it into her heart (Yes, I know, slightly dramatic) and C) the sink was full of dirty dishes and...how embarrassing for me to post my dirty dishes for all of my blogger buddies to see (because I am sure you all have pristine, sparkly clean sinks)!! So, you will just have to use your imagination on this one. I guess I am gonna have to find a safe place to hide the knives now, huh?

I actually encourage her to climb, though. I know you probably think that's weird. But here's my thinking: If I grab her and pull her down every time she climbs on anything, she won't get any better at climbing and the probability that she will fall and hurt herself is much greater. So, letting her climb and become an expert is a much better option than taking everything out of the house (which would include, but is not limited to, my kitchen table and chairs, our sofas, her crib, the toy box, the highchair, the side tables, the toy shelves, the bookshelves, the computer desk and chair, the TV stand, the drawers in the kitchen, the dressers and the treadmill and apparently every box of toys we own) that she could possibly hurt herself on. You can tell from the last post that trying to clear out one room and gating her into it is no longer an option. So, look out Mt. Everest! Here Laney comes. I think she can probably start her training by climbing the mountain of laundry we have accumulating in the hallway!

Ok, so there you have it. Just some random garbage I thought I would share. Hopefully you don't feel dumber now for reading it!