Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Karma's a B.......Well, You Get the Idea (This Blog is Rated G, You Know!)

On my latest trip to Ohio, I had a layover in Charlotte (aren't the clouds pretty in that picture??) My plane had arrived a little early and the airport was packed, so I decided I would sit in a busy section and people watch for awhile. I love to people watch. People are funny.

So I found a seat, sitting right on the edge of the main walkway. There was a young woman sitting two seats down from me. When I sat down, she looked over and smiled. She was very pretty. She was blond and had these piercing, green eyes. She was balancing her checkbook. What? You think that's weird?? Oh come on, like you haven't balanced your checkbook in a building full of strange people like a million times!

I sat my bag on the floor beside me (because my bag was too big to sit on the seat beside me because the stupid airlines have started charging a stupid fee to check a stupid bag so I had to pack everything I needed for my trip in a stupid carry on and then lug it around 4 stupid airports the whole stupid time!! But really, I'm ok with that). I started watching people as they passed. Most of them were men. Most likely business men. They were all dressed in the same Khaki pants and polo shirts.

It was pretty boring at first. Then, I noticed something. There was pattern emerging that went something like this.

Man comes walking along.
Man notices pretty blond woman sitting in seat.
Man begins to stare.
Man sucks in gut.
Man continues walking, but changes path to move slightly closer to edge of walkway where pretty blond woman is sitting.
Man continues to stare.
Man turns head as he passes.
Man continues to stare.
Occasionally man raises eyebrows.
Man smiles.
Pretty blond woman (completely oblivious) balances checkbook.

It did not matter if this man was young or old. It did not matter if this man was tall or short. It did not matter if this man was skinny or fat or if this man was alone or walking with his wife/girlfriend. In fact, I am pretty sure one of the guys that stared as he passed was with his boyfriend.

One man dropped his cell phone. One man tripped over a small child. One man tripped on the bag in front of him and almost ate walkway. One man almost stepped out in front of one of those beeping cars that carry disabled people (and speaking of them...umm, where do they find the drivers for those things?!?! Are they like Nascar drivers in training? Seriously...where's the fire, buddy??).

I wanted to stand up and yell "HAVE YOU NO SHAME, MAN?!?!" or "TAKE A PICTURE! IT'LL LAST LONGER!" I couldn't believe how obvious these men were being and how totally and completely preoccupied this woman was, just sitting there, balancing away. I found it extremely disrespectful to the woman they were drooling over and especially the women they were with!! What is wrong with men these days?? Ever heard of a little hing called R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!! Look it up! What ever happened to being discreet?? You catch a quick glimpse and then get over it! That's the polite thing to do, right?!?

After about 15 minutes I had had enough. I decided I would get up and go look for some place to buy a cookie or some frozen yogurt or something. As I was walking towards Terminal B, something caught my eye.

There was a young man, sitting in a seat off to the right of the walkway. He had dark hair. He was tall and thin (just how I like them!!). I felt my heart race a little. He was sooo cute (I'm married....not blind!). He looked up at me and had these amazingly blue eyes. It dawned on me that I was staring right at him!! I thought to myself "Eek!! Look away, woman! Look away!!!" He smiled a cordial smile. I smiled back. Then, I promptly ran smack dab into the back of the woman walking in front of me.


Kellan said...

You are so funny - ACK! My sister loves to people watch and always makes me sit by her as she points out those she finds interesting - HA!

Take care - Kellan

Dawn said...

Oh...too funny! That sounds like something I would have done!

Leah said...

ROFL!!!! I was gonna say, you just can't help but NOTICE certain people, even if you have zero intentions of following through. That's so funny though.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

This made me chuckle because I can totally see myself doing this!

Mrs. Blimes said...

hahahahahahah hee hee hee val, you're crazy!

utmomof5 said...

Hee hee I want you to know I laughed so hard I snorted when I readyour story. :)

Kaci said...

LOL!!!!!!! Now that is a blog post!! I want a picture of this man! I'm married and not blind too! Where's your cell phone camera thingy? LOL!

the dragonfly said...

Hmm...I might have caught myself doing the exact same thing.

Thanks for the smiles. :)

Stacie said...

ROFLMAO...that is hilarious!

Betsy said...

ROFL! That is HILARIOUS!! :)

desirae said...

I like to make up lives for the people I watch.. It's amazing the lives they lead (in my head..) I must admit, I do a little checking.. With the sucking in (because we all know that holding your breath, and sucking in, which makes your shoulders take on linebacker look is very hot..) My secret is crossing my arms directly under my boobs.. No.. You don't look standoffish.. You are giving them a cheap boob lift.. (And in my head I pretend I have my pre-kid body..) Here's to people watching, and checking out.. (I love that you ran into the lady... Too funny..)

Amanda B. said...

Ha Ha!!!!!! That was great! I am way into people watching too- provides hours of entertainment! :)

Porters said...

Okay, that is so classic. Can I say the best story I've heard in a long time but it is so true. Its happened to me too. Now your in the club of people who can't look away!

Theresa said...

Hilarious...just hilarious!

Did you then sit down, far enough away, to observe the women doing the same thing?

Thanks for stopping by.

Love T

Leanne said...

Yep. That would be the male thing to do. What you did? Just a silly accident. Women DON'T act like that. Ever. Nope, we don't. :)

The Cochran Family said...

LOL!!! LOL LOL LOL, you did NOT! Did you really run into her, did he see you do it? I love this story. I have always been so oblivious to the nature of man. tehe...I never watch them..anyway so as you watching this were you blogging in your head? :) Are you glad to be home, was it sooo fun! I can't wait to see Sarah as a mommy and Marc as a daddy

Mom to 5 Boys said...

That is too funny! And so true!

Love your blog!

Tracy B. said...

Yes. I remember the guy at the food court in the mall. You drooled alot that day also!

Valarie said...

Tracy- Yeah, that guy was totally drool worthy!!

Kathy said...

That is hillarious. It amazes me how people can be so oblivious sometimes though. LOL Thanks for the laugh.


Anonymous said...

Oh, how very funny. I LOL. Margie