Serves Me Right For Asking

**WARNING! This story contains graphic information that may be inappropriate for readers with weak stomachs** (Don't say I didn't warn ya!!)

UGH!!

Today has been a rough day. Yesterday was too. Evan is sick. AGAIN! I can't believe it. I swear he has been sick more often the past couple months than he has been healthy! Give me a freakin break!

He has been running a fever now for a few days. He's had a little bit of a runny nose. The snot hasn't really been all that bad though....except when he sneezes. Every time he sneezes a huge rocket of snot comes shooting out of his nose and, never fail, seems to splat in a big wad all over the jeans I am wearing. Ick.

I took him to the doctor. He has a sinus infection. Poor kid. I hate sinus infections. They put him on an antibiotic. I know antibiotics are good and all, but I HATE it when any of my littles have to go on them. Not just because I think they tend to over medicate children and give them antibiotics (among other drugs)that aren't needed and so there are now these super germs that have become resistant to antibiotics, either. It's because every time...and I mean EVERY time....not most of the time or every once in a while but EVERY SINGLE TIME one of my children get put on an antibiotic they get the runs!! You know.... the trots, flux, dysentery, hershey quirts, diarrhea...whatever you call it.

So, I have now spent the last 24 hours listening for Evan to make that noise. The high pitched "you had better come running, scoop me up, sprint me into the bathroom, fling off anything I have on the bottom half of my body and throw me onto the toilet OR you are gonna be cleaning up one big, nasty mess" squeal. I think my thigh muscles have gotten more of a workout int he past 24 hours than they have in the last 2 years.

Earlier I heard him call for me. I asked if he had to go to the bathroom.
"Yes mama. I gotta go" he said as he pointed in the general direction of the bathroom. I scooped him up and ran him in, tossing him in the general direction of the toilet.
Once I had him in position I asked "So, are you just going peepee? Or are you going poopy?"
"Just poopy" he said happily.
Wheh! I was so relieved. So, I left the bathroom and went on with whatever it was I was doing. Something extremely important, I am sure. About 3 minutes later I heard him calling me. I went in.
"What's up?" I asked.
"I need you to wipe me" he said.
"I thought you were just going pee." Once I had taken two steps into the bathroom the smell alerted me to the fact that indeed, he would need wiped.
"I did just pee! I just peed out my butt!!"

Serves me right for asking.

So, here he is, super cute as always. I wish I still looked this cute when I was sick and still in my Buzz Lightyear pajamas at 3 in the afternoon.

Gordon B. Hinckley

Gordon B. Hinckely, the President and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, was an amazing man.

He was a humble man.

He was funny.

He was kindhearted.

He was warm.

He was witty.

He was the epitome of genuine.

He was someone that everyone, no matter what religion, should strive to be like. He was a good, good person. I can only imagine how happy he must have been to be reunited with his sweet wife.

You will be greatly missed....

If Cars Lasted Forever......

Oh. My. Gosh. Why can't cars just last forever?

Why can't you just pick one and have it last for as long as you are alive?

If ya pick the wrong one? Too bad. You're stuck with it. Don't like the color? Well, too bad. Paint it yourself. Have another baby? Well, strap her on the hood. (Ok, not really. Please don't go strap your baby to the hood of your car. She'll have bug goo all over her before you get to Wal-Mart.)

We bought our van. You know, the one that I didn't really want but settled for because my husband wanted it even though I am the one that has to drive it all the time. That van. When we bought it, there was a tiny chip in the windshield (and a few other minor issues) that the dealer gave us a "we owe" for. So, we took the van in last week. An hour away. With all 4 kids in the backseat. That is 2 hours round trip (just in case you suck at math). We took it in on Thursday. They called us on Friday and said it was ready. We drove back an hour to get it and when we got there the windshield had not been replaced. The chip was still there. They had done nothing.

The manager apologized profusely and said it was his fault for not checking it out before he had called us. Well, DUH, of course it is your fault. This was the same manager that I had gotten into a heated discussion with when buying this van.

"Why don't you come on out here and we can show you this new Ford Freestar."
"Umm, no thanks. I don't like Fords."
"It has leather interior."
"Ummmmmmm, NO thanks. I don't like leather.?
"What?!? You don't like leather? Everyone likes leather. What do you have against leather?"
"Well, first off I have 5 car seats in my car and they tend to leave indentations in the leather that ruin it."
"Yeah, that is why you should take the car seats out and let the seat 'breathe' every once in a while."
"Did you hear me say I put 5 car seats in?? Have you ever strapped FIVE car seats into a van before?? There is no way I am messing with taking FIVE car seats out of the car to let my seats 'breathe' and then breakin gmy finger (yes, that has happened) straping them all back in. Thank you very much. Plus, I am not particularly in love with the smell of burning flesh. Which is what the interior of your car smells like if you have leather seats and live in Florida in July and August."
(Not that I have anything against other people having leather interior...It is cool looking....to each his own) But anyways....

So my husband called on Tuesday and talked to the salesman who had sold us the car. He told him that their glass man had looked at it and said there was nothing he could do about it...hat they were a dealership and not a glass shop and he pretty much said we were SOL. So, I said that was fine. If they didn't want to fix the window like they had promised (and put in writing), we would be returning the van to them the following day.

They replaced the window yesterday.

Then, today, I was out and about and realized......my freaking passenger side window won't roll down. Those morons had to have done something to it. It worked fine before and now it doesn't. The van is under warranty, so I think we won't even bother calling this dealer back. We will just take it somewhere else and have it fixed.

But, if cars lasted forever I wouldn't have this problem.

We wouldn't have to deal with idiot car sales guys.

We wouldn't have to argue about the make and model and worry about how many miles it had on it.

We would just buy a car....and have it last forever. Wouldn't that just be easier?!?

Thanks A Bunch!

Leah gave me this lovely award. I would love to come up with something funny to say....but today is my husband's birthday and I am WAY too busy to make the effort to be funny. So, I'll just say, thanks Leah. You're kids are pretty adorable, too. :)


I am going to go ahead and pass this on to One Scrappy Gal. We seem to have a good amount in common and I love reading about her family and seeing all the fun pics that she posts.

Can I Get a Spellcheck, Please??

Last week, I was driving to the mall. I passed a sign that was out in front of a local church. It was one of those signs where they can slide the letters in and write whatever they want to on it. Well, this is what it read:

Has Jesus touched your soul?
Special Massage
Sunday 10am

Hmmmm..Now what kind of church is this exactly?!? I laughed.

I was then driving past the same sign 2 days ago. It read:

Has Jesus touched your soul?
Special Message
Sunday 10am

Ohhhhhh, ok. They just forgot to use spellcheck.

***UPDATE: I have had a couple people email me and tell me they didn't get it, so for those who are getting confused let me help ya out a little. On the drive past the sign the first time the word is spelled "massage," as in a rub down with hot oil. The second time it was spelled "message" as in something important I need to relay to you.***

These Are a Few of My NOT Favorite Things

My friend, Jude, recently blogged about children's TV characters that she found annoying. I had a good laugh when reading hers and decided to steal her idea and write a little about a few that are my NOT favorites as well.


1) Jetta from Clifford, the Big Red Dog. She seems sweet enough. However, she opens her mouth....and she lies. She brags. Then she cheats....EVERY FREAKIN' EPISODE she's on. She acts horrible, has some sort of defining moment (or simply gets caught red handed) and then regrets whatever it was she did. BUT, inevitably, by the following episode she is back to her lying, cheating ways. Bragging about how wonderful she is. I don't think she ever REALLY learns her lesson.

2) Remember when we were kids and Sesame Street was good? It might as well be called Elmo's World now. Once that little punker got one little, hairy toe in the door, he spread like a nasty virus!

3) Zoe, also from Elmo's World...errrr, I mean Sesame Street. That furry little monster never wants to share anything. And what's up with the rock?? The rock that everyone has to pretend is alive...? If you ask me, I think she is having some sort of a psychotic break.

4) The Man in the Yellow Hat on Curious George. Can you say SPCA?? He is a totally negligent pet owner.

5) And yet another Sesame Street Character.....Ernie. I can't blame Bert for being in a grumpy mood all the time. I sympathize with him. Ernie constantly keeps him awake at night!! I KNOW how it feels to be completely sleep deprived and if I were Bert, I would have kicked Ernie's obnoxious, orange butt to the curb LONG ago.

6) Then there is Caillou. He is a B.R.A.T. He is whiny and self-absorbed and is such a meany to his little sister!! Although, I have to say that I don't think we should place all the blame on Caillou. After all, it is his parents that are the enablers, right?? Not once have I seen them put that child in time out!

7) TeleTubbies. Does anyone else hear obscenities when they watch this show?? I swear, once I heard them say "Ohhhh, no no. You naughty noo noo. Mo noogie." Seriously?!? I bet that's some dirty inside joke between one of the writers and his dominatrix mistress.

8) And what's up with Diego? I actually don't mind watching this show, but I hope that his parents have some decent health/life insurance on that kid. Why? Come on, Baby Jaguar is cute and fuzzy now, but we all know that Jaguars just don't make good pets!

9) Yo Gabba Gabba. Umm, just look at the picture. Really. Need I say more??

(When I read the blog on Jude's page, she mentioned something about Clifford and about how he is as big as a house, which means his poop would have to be huge. They live on a tiny island, so why isn't there a mountain of humongo dog poo around? No one is ever complaining of the poo smell and you never see Emily Elizabeth carrying around a pooper scooper the size of a snow shovel. I am still cracking up about reading that.)

The sad thing is, if I were a better mom I wouldn't even be writing this post because I would be spending time playing with and reading to my children all day long instead of parking them in front of the TV for entertainment. Oh, well. They'll survive.

Ok, so now it is your turn. Do you agree or disagree or do you have any others to add??

She Should TOTALLY Be On Fear Factor!

**WARNING!! Those who are eating may want to finish first! Those who have a weak stomach or who have eaten recently and have a sensitive gag reflex may want to grab a barf bucket for this one!**

My sister called me the other day.

"What is the grossest thing one of your babies put in their mouth?" she asked.

"Ummmmm, well...I can't really think of anything off the top of my head. Why?? What happened? Did Devyn (my barely 12 month old niece) eat something??"

She then proceeded to tell me that she had been talking on the phone. Devyn was crawling around playing with toys and books and the buttons on the TV...per her usual. My sister noticed she had something in her mouth. She ran over and began the "finger sweep" to see what Devyn had gotten her hands on this time. That child gets ahold of EVERYTHING she shouldn't! She felt something. It was squishy and wet. What in the world was it?? She scooped it out and began to examine it. She was horrified. (You got that barf bucket ready??) It was a teeny (as in smaller than the size of your pinky fingernail).....black (as in the opposite of white)....shrivled up (as in all wrinkly and gross).....DEAD (as in NOT living)....frog!!! (I think I threw up a little in my mouth when my sister told me that)

This comes only a few weeks (or maybe a month or so) after my other sister was sitting at home while Devyn was playing around. She looked over and saw a small bug climbing up the front of Devyn's shirt (and yes, it is normal to have all sorts of little bugs and frogs and other critters crawling around your house here...it is impossible to completely rid your house of them).

Devyn noticed the bug. She began to pinch at it with her tiny fingers and after a time or two, she pinched that nasty little buggy and popped it in her mouth in one fell swoop!! MMMmmmmmmm!! Protein!! My sister did get it out of her mouth before she swallowed it, but I imagine Devyn crunched it a time or two first.

Those Fear Factor contestants ain't got nothin' on this beautiful baby girl!


Oh, and just in case you were wondering. After thinking about it for a minute...The grossest thing any of my littles got into their mouths was a toss up....Both times it was Kyle. He also put EVERYTHING in his mouth. Once, he had stuck his hand down the back of his dirty diaper and before I noticed, he had poo smeared all over his lips. The other time I was walking in the Wal-Mart parking lot, holding Kyle's hand (he was probably about 2), and he reached down, scooped up a nasty cigarette butt and popped it into his mouth. I just about barfed all over my cart full of groceries. COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!! PUT YOUR FREAKIN' BUTTS IN THE PROPER TRASH RECEPTACLES!!